Time For A Good Cry! How many times have you had a “good cry?” Crying is one of the most deeply human experiences we can have. Animals don't cry; they simply tear up in response to irritants in the environment. Only we humans, who have the capacity to feel so deeply, mournfully and intensely about one another, have intricate, emotional memories, and cry tears of sorrow, grief, frustration, anger, joy, excitement and relief. Crying is Just For Babies...Not So!
“Having a good cry” is something a wise mother has always advised her child to do in the face of life's inevitably hurtful times: the break-up with a first love, grieving a beloved pet's death, getting rejected from the college you set your heart on, learning of a devastating illness of a close friend. We all know how much better we feel after letting it all out in private, completely uninhibited sobbing. The world looks less dreary and feels less hopeless afterwards. It's a mechanism of acceptance; we Women have easier access to such deeply expressed emotions, and tend to cry more intensely and frequently than men do. This is not surprising, as men are neurologically wired differently than women. They are less responsive to emotional nuances and are, unfortunately, discouraged from crying and openly emoting from early on in life, as they are raised to be "boyish" boys (or “manly” men for that matter). The Science of Tears Researchers don't really understand why crying brings such substantial emotional relief. They have, however, analyzed the chemical components of tears, and found that tears from crying are different than tears that come from eye irritation and lubrication. Emotional tears contain enzymes, immunoglobins, and proteins that other types of tears don't. They hypothesize that crying rids the body of a build-up of chemicals and, as a result, is physiologically helpful. Valuing Our Tears
Western psychology is now catching up to ancient wisdom. In ancient times and societies, people collected their tears in glass and ceramic vessels, to immortalize their sorrow. Such tears were highly valued. We need to realize that even today, having a good, productive cry, and then moving on, is one of the best mind/body cures for the blues, and for any intense emotional build-up, that we have. So let it all out ladies! If you’re down and need a good cry, then throw in “Dirty Dancing” and have yourself an emotionally-releasing good time! Your tears really can cure you of your blues, and that’s makes me feel much better about all the silly “good cries” I’ve had. **** HAPPY GUIDE ****
Article Written By: Dr. Susan Davis is a clinical psychologist located in Manhattan. She has a psychotherapy practice in which she sees adults, couples, adolescents and children, and consults to businesses, organizations, educational institutions and the media (www.drsusandavis.com). Article Also Written By: Amy Jarvis; Amy is a graduate of FIDM in Los Angeles, CA and enjoys writing and creating pages for Divavillage.com. |
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Why do we call it a “good cry” anyway? All I know is that after I watch a romantic movie like “
Babies and children do it naturally, and somehow as adults, we lose this capacity. We need to take our cues from the kids, and re-awaken our capacity to cry when it is needed. We'd certainly be happier, healthier and more connected to ourselves if we did.
acknowledge we are hurting and it's OK to feel as we do.
Emotionally, crying is a way to focus on how you feel right here, right now - and thus deal with the real issues that are causing your emotional discomfort or pain. Crying is a way in which you force yourself to confront your feelings. People who are depressed get stuck and do not really address their deep feelings - the source of the pain - but get caught in a loop of obsession and hopelessness. Productive crying gets at the real feelings and allows you to face them head on. Sometimes you just have to feel bad for a while in order to feel better.
